As I worked my way around the campfire in Baldur’s Gate 3, chatting to my companions to see which ones had dialogue developments that invariably would lead me to bedding them, a niggling feeling coagulated into a fully fledged thought—something that had been bothering me since my early hours with the game: why isn’t there a single companion there from the stout ‘little’ races? Not a single Dwarf, Halfling, or Gnomish companion in sight, and frankly barely any notable characters from those races to speak of in the game full-stop.

Of course, you could say the same for Tieflings or Dragonborn, but the former are pretty much swarming throughout the first two Acts of the game, while the latter is more of a fringe class which for me at least hasn’t built up the same level of fondness for its role in fantasy stories. When I think of what defines a good companion-based RPG in the D&D or adjacent setting, I think ‘numbers, dice rolls, and at least one Dwarven or Gnomish companion (Halflings, funnily enough, have barely appeared as companions in videogames at all).’

Love For The Little ‘Uns

Zoltan from The Witcher is as fine a Dwarven pal as you could ask for.

In my experience with D&D and high-fantasy games, Dwarven characters in particular fit into certain kinds of typecasting that’s always resonated with me. I think of Zoltan Chivay in The Witcher series, there to share a tankard of ale with Geralt and try to put a smile on his sullen face, but also a formidable fighter and there for him in his times of need. I think of the smooth-talking Varric Tethras, the narrator of Dragon Age: Inquisition and one of the more likable companions (who, crucially, isn’t romanceable). Excellent characters with distinctly Dwarven personalities who add a sense of chuminess and cheer to their respective games.

And I know what you dirty-minded Baldur’s Gate 3 fans are thinking (or have embedded deep in your subconscious but aren’t willing to admit): these races aren’t hot enough. Every companion in Baldur’s Gate 3 is romanceable, and frankly appeals to rather conventional beauty standards that don’t do much to promote alternative models of attractiveness.

The Dwarf Varric from Dragon Age: Inquisition is one of the best companions from the series.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder of course, but let’s not deny that the chisel-cheekboned, sexy, and svelte companions of Baldur’s Gate 3 are eye candy of the highest order with a flirty twinkle to half their interactions. And don’t go telling me that Lae’Zel or Karlach, being green- and demon-red-skinned respectively, somehow address that; one could be a bodybuilder, the other a supermodel. Only a post-demonisation Wyll slips up a bit in the game’s ridiculously high beauty standards.

Baldur’s Gate 3’s companions are a line-up of hotties conforming to conventional societal beauty standards – whether they’re human or not.

Why, among them, can’t there be a gnome tinkerer who’s too busy being fascinated by his inventions to care about the trite matter of sex, or a Dwarf who’s simply there as a good pal to sing songs around the campfire with (rather than a Wyll type who tries to jig you into bed and strops if you deny him!). I’ve long said that horniness seems to trump no-nonsense camaraderie among Baldur’s Gate 3 companions, and seeing as the shorter races have long been excluded from getting frisky in RPGs, maybe throwing a couple in in an upcoming story DLC (which may be happening, based on some coy words from Larian themselves) would diversify the vibe around the campfire a bit.

Related

Is Baldur’s Gate 3 Better With Keyboard & Mouse Or Controller? I Found Out

Having spent dozens of hours using both, here’s what I think.

Not that I’m against the little races getting some lovin’, but looking at the history of RPGs makes for pretty bleak reading on that front, with these races historically receiving the, uhhh, short end of the stick. Across the dozen-plus romances in Baldur’s Gate 1 and 2, only the Gnome Glint Gardnersonson in Baldur’s Gate 1’s Siege of Dragonspear expansion was romanceable. In Dragon Age, meanwhile, you get a few Dwarf companions—namely the grouchy red-beared companion Oghren in Dragon Age: Origins, as well as the decidedly more rakish and appealing Varric Tethras in Dragon Age 2 and Inquisition—but neither can be romanced (despite the latter actually being pretty damn handsome!).

Dwarves For The DLC

There’s been some small feedback on why this has been the case. Dragon Age writer David Gaider tweeted a couple of years ago that sex scenes in the game were “very creepy when used with dwarves (specifically the way dwarves were modeled in DAO) done up to look a certain way.” But all in all, it just seems like developers have largely been squeamish about the idea of romance among the smaller races.

I’d love to see a Baldur’s Gate 3 expansion throw in a companion or two from the smaller races. And honestly, I don’t even care if they’re romanceable or not. Each of these races has its cultural idiosyncrasies that could liven things up around the campfire, and I for one would happily take a stoner halfling, a tinkering gnome, or a raucous chummy dwarf over yet another romance option should a DLC be forthcoming.

Need A Little More Love?

Baldur’s Gate 3: All Romance Options, Ranked

Baldur’s Gate 3 allows players to romance certain NPCs. Here are the best ones to Romance.